Duck Butts: Greatest Hits
by Mistress Sith
Summary: The Mission:Become the best pop band in the world to raise money for Madara's campaign for Hokage.   Can Duck Butts pull it off? Or will they just be a one hit wonder?
1. Duck Butts

Heyo! It is I, Mistress Sith! And guess what? I'm back….from the DEAD! Nah, just kidding. I just wrote another fan fiction after all this time. Sorry I deleted some of my other pieces. was being stubborn and made me erase them because 'they were not real stories' or whatever. Anyway, I'm done blabbering. Let's get to the story!

**NOTE:** I do **not** own _Naruto_; it is, and always will be, property of Masashi Kishimoto.

**Chapter One: A New Mission **

"Sasuke," Madara Uchiha took a deep breath and looked at his young protégé. "Now that you understand my reasons, what will you do? Will you do as Itachi wished and return to Konaha, or shall you follow the destiny of the Uchiha - your destiny, our destiny – as an avenger?"

The room was dark and shadowy for the only light came from a small candle on the long table. At one end sat Sasuke Uchiha, his pale skin and dark hair making him look almost dead in the current lighting. Madara sat on top of the table, a strange position for one who was well over ninety and seemed so old fashioned. (They had electricity; there was no reason for Madara to bring out the candles in the first place.) Though his face was covered in an odd orange mask, it was obvious that the elder was staring at Sasuke curiously.

"I," Sasuke spoke, hardly moving his lips. "I will do what I was destined to do."

"Okay," Madara clapped his hands together. He hopped off the table swiftly, and landed with a small _plop_. "I'll give you a moment to rest. Please return here in an hour if you still desire vengeance for the clan and Itachi." Just as he was about to reach the door, Sasuke said something extremely surprising.

"That isn't my destiny," the words came slowly out of his mouth. "It isn't the Uchiha's fate, either."

Madara turned around. "What do you mean?" For the first time, he actually sounded shocked.

"Well, I thought about what you told me, about the whole thing with the Senju clan, and I came to a conclusion," Sasuke's voice was expressionless as ever.

"That being…?"

"If you had just done something snazzy, you could have become the First Hokage instead of that Hashirama guy," continued Sasuke, folding his arms. "Then we wouldn't be in this whole situation in the first place."

"What are you getting at, Sasuke?" Madara walked over to the table and got back into his position of sitting on it.

"What if you became the next Hokage? Then, all our troubles would be gone."

"HAHA!" Madara hit the table with his fist. "That is the funniest thing I have ever heard! How do you suppose I go about becoming Hokage? I'm the worst of Konaha's traitors, remember? And everyone knows that this," he pointed to his mask, "is a member of Akatsuki."

"Yes," Sasuke nodded. "But I have an idea."

Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo followed Kisame to the Akatsuki meeting area. All the while they were walking, silent, each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, the guide stopped.

"Here we are," Kisame opened a hidden door on the left with a blue hand. He smiled. "Welcome to Akatsuki."

Karin was the first to walk into the room, followed by the other three. Suigetsu took a look around at the dark walls and dirt floor and immediately commented. "Who'd want to have a meeting here? It looks like a wine cellar and smiles like someone's dying."

Sasuke and Madara were already in the room, sitting in the same spots they were in earlier. After seeing a nod from his elder, Sasuke called to the others. "Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo, come here." His subordinates obeyed quietly and awaited their leader's next order.

"From this point forward, things are going to change," Madara started. "For one, Team Hebi, will be renamed Taka and ally itself with Akatsuki."

"Great," Suigetsu mumbled, just to be elbowed by Karin.

"Secondly," Madara continued, ignoring the two. "We have a new mission. Instead of hunting for the Tailed Beasts, Akatsuki will make it its primary goal to become the most popular pop band that the world has seen yet, thus giving us the money we need to fulfill our other, more important goal. I shall run for title of Hokage, and, once I rule Konaha, we will use our power to stomp out the other, smaller nations and make them one with Konaha. If there are no countries, there is no war."

"Now that you understand our goals," Sasuke turned to his trio. "We need to start writing music for the band. Let's go."

"QUESTION! QUESTION!" Suigetsu raised his hand and jumped up and down.

"Yes?" Madara said, his voice sounding unamused.

"If we're gonna be pop stars, aren't we gonna get a bunch of fangirls? How do we keep 'em out?"

"I already get fangirls," Sasuke replied, motioning for the others to leave. "I know entirely too well how to deal with them."

"What's the band's name? Can I name it?," Suigetsu asked.

"Suigetsu!" Karin stomped on his foot. "Shut up! Quit annoying Sasuke!"

"The band is called…" Sasuke thought for a second. "..Duck Butts."

"Ew!" Karin and Suigetsu said at the same, finally agreeing on something.

"I kinda like it," Jugo said thoughtfully.

They continued down the hall, trying to come up with an idea for their first song.


	2. The Music

Here I am with chapter two! This one was really fun to write!  
Please do **NOT** steal any of the lyrics I wrote. It took me a long time to write them and I probably will record them someday. Thanks and enjoy!  
If you like this story, tell me what you think! Please comment! It helps a lot!

**Chapter Two: The Music**  
For the next two weeks, the newly founded Duck Butts spent every waking hour attempting to write catchy tunes and lyrics. Now the four sat, in one of the empty rooms in the Akatsuki headquarters.  
"Hey, Sasuke," Karin blushed like she did every time she looked at Sasuke. His skin was just so pale and perfect, his eyes cool and his muscular body hot. But what she liked most about him was his chakra. Yes, Sasuke had a really interesting, powerful chakra and Karin just loved being around him. "I think I've got a good tune and lyrics."  
"Hmm," Sasuke stopped writing and look up. This make Karin blush even more. "Let's hear it, Karin."  
"Um," Karin looked into Sasuke's eyes and was lost. Those beautiful eyes that could do so much harm…  
"Karin!" Suigetsu woke her up impatiently. "What is it?"  
"Oh right," she muttered, slightly embarrassed. "Here it goes:

_Do you wanna come with me_  
_And shake it 'till we get naughty_  
_Take me to your pad _  
_I promise not to be bad_  
_All I want is something rough_  
_And you're just right, hot stuff_  
_Just take me to your room_  
_And lock the-_"

"I think that's enough," Sasuke interrupted. Karin looked up from her paper to see Suigestsu had a shocked, frightened expression, Jugo appeared to be fighting his killing instinct, and Sasuke looked almost disgusted, if that was even possible.  
"I'm sorry," Karin tried not to burst into tears. Her voice cracked. "I didn't mean to-"  
"Sure you didn't," Suigetsu muttered, finally coming out of his scared state. "We all know that's what you really feel like doing."  
He stopped as he felt Karin's boot smash against his face.  
"Enough," Sasuke glared at the two evilly, which was enough for Suigetsu to stop complaining. "I also wrote a song." He began singing. His companions were impressed at the tone of his voice; it made his song sound like a lullaby, despite the words.

"_I'm not the kind of guy_  
_Who wants to save the day_  
_I'm not interested_  
_In your hero play_  
_'He's crazy'_  
_It's what you all say_  
_But I really couldn't give a care_  
_So just get out of my hair_

_I'm gonna walk round the whole wide world_  
_And destroy everything in my path_  
_Nothing can stop me 'cause_  
_Killing's all that I have_  
_This world is ugly alive,_  
_I'd be prettier if it all fried_  
_So just get out of my way_  
_Or your life will end today_

_'Cause I'm the Avenger_  
_I wanna hurt you_  
_I've got this giant world to chew_  
_This planet's stupid_  
_Why don't we nuke it_  
_I've let my vengeance take control_  
_Hate is my only friend; I guess love was my toll_

_When I see bunnies in a field_  
_I want to slaughter them_  
_So they know how it feels_  
_To be all alone, left in the cold_  
_Like the world abandoned me_  
_Terrorizing is my destiny_

_'Cause I'm the Avenger_  
_I wanna hurt you_  
_I've got this giant world to chew_  
_This planet's stupid_  
_Why don't we nuke it_  
_I've let my vengeance take control_  
_Hate is my only friend; I guess love was my toll_"

"Hmm…" Madara walked into the room. "That sounds good."  
"Wow, kid," Kisame appeared behind Madara and turned to Duck Butt's founder. "You and Itachi have the same horrible taste in music. I guess it runs in the family." Sasuke's face remained expressionless.  
"Hey, Sasuke," Suigestsu looked at his leader, wiping the tears from his eyes. "That was amazing!"  
"So," Madara looked down at his young star. "When do you plan on recording this?"  
"I don't know," the emotionless teen admitted. "Maybe after we come up with some other songs."  
"I've got one!" Suigetsu held up the paper he was holding.

"_I was racing down the road in a thing called a 'car'_  
_It was so fast, I was going so far_  
_Then I looked out the window to see_  
_Two joggers right behind me_  
_It was perfectly normal, they had on clothes_  
_But then I noticed something about their toes_  
_There were strange hooves instead of feet_  
_And their fast pace couldn't be beat _  
_I took a look at one's face_  
_OMG! It was an odd face!_  
_Instead of a regular face_  
_This guy hade a goat face_  
_I parked the car and hid in a place_  
_But then those goats went, stood by the car and paced_  
_It was so weird! _  
_I was in fear!_  
_Until…_

_Sasuke came running out_  
_He ate one goat without a pout_  
_While he face was stuffed _  
_He threw a giant fish that was puffed_  
_It was safe, so I came out of my spot_  
_And then Sasuke asked me to smoke pot_"

Suigetsu proudly looked around at the others in the room. Noticing their slightly disturbed faces, he smiled. "I take it you liked the song."  
"Um," Sasuke didn't know what to say. Just the thought of smoking pot freaked him out. "It was-"  
"Great!" Kisame and Suigetsu high-fived. "That's what I'm talking about!"  
"I found it very…erm…. interesting," Madara replied. "Maybe we should let Sasuke stick to writing the songs."  
So, they continued, writing songs. Soon, very soon, the Duck Butts would have their first hit….


End file.
